That being said, we’re not above enjoying a locksmith joke or two. Here are a few of our favorites.
Not so Smart
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith.
“I locked my keys in my sports car!” said the nervous lawyer.
“No problem, I should be there in about an hour,” replied the locksmith.
“Do you think you can make it a little sooner?” pleaded the lawyer. “My top is down and its starting to rain.”
The Entrepreneur
An entrepreneur attended an auction at which he won the bid on an old safe. With dreams of a large fortune inside, he was told that the business from which the safe originated was so long defunct, that no one had the combination. Undaunted, he called a locksmith to try to get the safe open.
The first locksmith told the entrepreneur that it would cost forty dollars to open the safe intact. However, tried as he might, he couldn’t open it, and told the wealthy man that he had lost his money in buying the safe.
The entrepreneur then contacted another locksmith, a crusty, bent old man with three days’ growth of white whiskers, who took a long look at the safe, noted its manufacturer and retired to his truck. Shortly, he returned with a power drill, a ruler, and a small, bent piece of metal.
The locksmith measured a few inches from the dial and marked an “x” at the “2 o’clock” mark. It took more than half an hour for the old man to drill through the safe’s door. He then took the bent metal, hooked it through the hole and fished around a few moments until a loud “CLICK” was heard. Turning the handle the door swung open slowly.
The safe was empty.
Disappointed, the entrepreneur turned to the locksmith and asked the charge for opening the safe.
“A hundred and twenty dollars,” replied the locksmith.
“A hundred and twenty dollars?!” shouted the businessman, “That’s outrageous! The other man only wanted forty! I want an itemized bill for it!”
“Okay.” The locksmith turned on his heel and returned to his truck. A few minutes later, the entrepreneur was presented with a dirty piece of paper upon which the locksmith had written:
Charge for drilling hole: $20
Charge for knowing WHERE to drill hole: $100.
New Dog
I bought a dog off a locksmith today.
As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.
